


Five Places Rodney and John Will Never, Ever Have Sex

by RavenclawProngs



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 12:11:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4262832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenclawProngs/pseuds/RavenclawProngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have to draw the line somewhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Places Rodney and John Will Never, Ever Have Sex

_The conference room_

Two words: Elizabeth Weir.

 

_The infirmary_

Hospital gowns really _don’t_ turn Rodney on and the smell of antiseptic makes John want to gag.

 

_The ‘Jumpers_

Rodney’d like to, but John insists that it’s hard enough to concentrate with Rodney sitting next to him, sweaty and dirty and flushed from exertion without having memories of hot sex to deal with as well. They did make it to second base there, though.

 

_The balconies_

Atlantis may be big enough and heavy enough that the sway of the ocean can’t be felt but she’s still a city in the middle of a large body of water and between the salt spray and the wind it’s just too damn cold. They’re excellent for cuddling on, though, and Rodney and John will both deny how much they like to do just that.

 

_The Lantean mainland_

The Athosian settlement is nice enough, but Athosian’s have a very… communal attitude toward sex that neither of them shares. The woods seemed like a nice idea until John pointed out that the Athosians did a lot of hunting.

John would like to try having sex on the beach, since he’d never gotten to try it before, but Rodney started talking about sand in very tender places, and getting too wrapped up in each other to notice the tides and don’t look at me like that, you know we would, and there’s a reason some places don’t see the sun, _John,_ and I burn very easily and no, I don’t care if you’re willing to spread Aloe Vera on it afterwards, it’ll still hurt and eventually John dropped to his knees and blew Rodney’s mind just to shut him up. Rodney took it as acquiescence and John didn’t see any reason to keep arguing after Rodney so enthusiastically returned the favor.


End file.
